Sheila Scott explains how having the courage to deal with a problem, in the right way, is a much better approach than ‘putting up’ with the repercussions of it.
This week, a good friend of mine finally summoned up the courage to tell his boss that her angry behaviour – in front of team and customers – was unacceptable, made him angry and was bad for the business. He had been working for her, and putting up with her tantrums, for four years.
Admittedly, he’d practised his feedback for a long time, and delivered it calmly, factually and without judgement or prejudice.
To his shock and surprise, she turned right round, acknowledged her ‘bad’ approach, apologised and explained how she was working on dealing with her ‘problem’. The door was opened to discussion, to his offers of help and to further feedback should (when) the situation arise again. My friend now feels he understands his boss a little better and can help make changes in future. We hope that further feedback will help Ms Boss increase her commitment to change too.
So, although the situation is far from resolved, at least one team member feels he has some control over these destructive moments. He had been putting up with ‘buckets of destructive emotional energy’ for far too long simply because he had not felt the courage to intervene and was afraid of one huge row/slap down/increased negativity/disciplinary action! Once he gained the courage to face the possible consequences of a conversation, he realised that he’d not been avoiding the dementors at all – only allowing a small dementor to nibble the happiness from his job piece by piece over the years. Was it worth it?
Only time – and his continued courage – will tell if change is really afoot. So, ask yourself, what are you sweeping under the carpet, when you could help to make changes?
To hear more great advice from Sheila Scott why not come along to one of our regional events?